Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
