I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
