I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
