my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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