so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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