Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
