She's JV to your varsity
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
