The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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