I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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