i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
