sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
