just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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