We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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