guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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