You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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