I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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