Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.

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(613): View more from Ontario

There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

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(209): View more from California

we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin

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(218): View more from Minnesota

WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.

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