Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
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