Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
