they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
