I feel like abortions should bother me more
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
