Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize