If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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