Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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