My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
