I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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