There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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