I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
