I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
