U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
