Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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