1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
