I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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