Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
