I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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