Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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