i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
