Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Found your dick twin last night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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