i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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