it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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