i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize