its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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