I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
