you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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