What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
