I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize