So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
