he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
