That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Four minutes until I can fart!
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
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It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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