The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
