apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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