I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
