At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.