Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks