His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
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She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.