well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
