I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
