so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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