I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
