..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
