We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Randomize
