i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
