Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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