Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
