The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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