weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
