david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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