Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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